NFL Football Pennants A new, first of its kind disease has swept the nation, with origins in Canton, Ohio. This disease is spreading like wildfire, and the only thing officials know about it so far is that it’s some kind of fever.

The Surgeon General and the CDC have collaborated and named the disease “PigSkin Madness Fever Disease.” Symptoms include but are not limited to the painting of one’s face and body, huge crazy colored hair and the swelling of one hand to enormous proportions and resembling a giant number 1.

Anyone with the disease has glued themselves to television sets, adamant upon staying there through the course of entire weekends, Monday nights, and even Thanksgiving. Their only remedy, they claim, is hours of televised football.

Someone we know, who goes by the name of Bob, claimed that the illness struck him all at once, just when he least expected it. He had spent most of the summer months outside, catching a few baseball games and NASCAR races here and there. One day, while watching Sports Center, he caught a glimpse of a football training camp and everything went downhill from there.

The victim’s neighbors say they saw this coming all year. Everything on his front lawn now resembles footballs, and he even went so far as to tackle a neighbor carrying a sack of potatoes. The entire neighborhood is alarmed.

While many will be concerned with trying to get their fill to feed the fever the CDC reports that within one month there will be football in full swing at every level and those affected by this disease should be able to find comfort. If the fever becomes uncontrollable it has been noted that by joining 100,000 or more at any of the major universities in the country will bring immediate relief.

It has also been announced by the Surgeon general that if you are not affected by this disease you should report immediately to your local mental health agency for psychiatric evaluation as it may not be safe for you to be a part of mainstream society.

Well, football is back. It’s going to be another crazy year and I can’t wait!

If you believe you might be suffering from these symptoms, we would suggest you head immediately to the NFL forum at RootZoo Sports, where you can answer over 55,000 sports trivia questions, play football pick em games, and more.

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